Time To Re-Focus and Lay Out the Gratitude List

I've been in a funk since my surgery. I'm cranky, I'm still fatigued and healing, I'm emotional and just plain lost.

As I was showering this morning, it hit me like a brick - One year ago, I needed Lee to help me take a shower: He wrapped my emaciated body in saran wrap to protect the ostomy bag; He installed a hand-held shower wand so I could sit on the shower chair since I was too weak to stand for very long.

I took a look back at a post I wrote in May and I listed things I Missed:

 

• Food on My Terms
• The way food USED to taste.
• Wiping My Ass
• My "Before" Clothes
• Wearing MakeUp/Clear Skin
• Stamina
• Q-Tip Satisfaction: I no longer produce ear wax, no need to Q-tip. Freaky, I know.
• Fitting into my Bras- I used to somewhat dislike my large Marges, now I miss them 
• Diet Pepsi: The bubbly, crisp, sweet drink in the middle of the work day. I drank maybe 3 per week, not a soda-aholic by any means. Any carbonated drink tastes like acid.
• Ketchup: How can I eat my diet of hamburgers without it? i need a condiment, damn it. The acidity of the tomato is not a pretty thing for my tongue, throat, tummy. On the same vein, I miss MY homemade Spaghetti Sauce.(gravy, for my Italian friends). My red sauce was soooo my comfort food.

Except for 1-2 items listed, I either have all those things back, or almost back.

• The simple act of taking a shower, unassisted is so much more satisfying now.
• I don't need to go into detail about how grateful I am to NOT have an ostomy bag, I gave you all much too much detail last year!
• Picking up Michaela from school
• Eating together as a family

The little things that were unavailable to me one year ago are now an abundant blessing one year later.

XOXOX

Peggy