CT scan findings: Numerous hepatic metastases scattered throughout both lobes of the liver, now containing spiculated calcification, and most showing interval decrease in size. Mass in Right lobe was 10 x 6.0 CM and is now 3.7 x 5.5 CM (Dr Miller thinks the 5.5 correlates to the 10) and Large Metastasis on left lobe of liver now measures 3.1 x 2.3 down from 6.4 x 6.9.
In other words, Yippee. The decreased size of the larger tumors correlates with the decrease in the CRE marker (1400 to 68 to 39).
It was a relief to have confiramtion that the tumors are shrinking. I am so thankful. And so thankful for all the prayers coming my way. I have a looong way to go folks, many more months of chemo.
The Chemo is taking its toll on my body: super dry skin, I swear I shed a complete Peggy every other day!
Mouth Sores- My mouth is completely scorched. I can't taste a thing. Soups and rices that I was tolerating now hurt to have in my mouth. It SUCKS that I can't taste anything, but for it to HURT on top of it just blows. Shakes, because they are cold, I can tolerate best. I really don't want to live on milkshakes.
Numbing my mouth with lydecaine is an option, but the numbing factor Burns too, so why bother.
I have to muster the courage and the strength to choke down caloric food, withstand the pain and live with the fact that there is absolutley NO pleasure in Food anymore. My sense of taste has been so off from the beginning, so when I found foods I could tolerate and enjoy, it was always so gratifying.
So, please pray that I can find that strength and do what I need to do to nourish myself- a key factor in my healing.
XOXOX
Peggy
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
CT Scan
Tuesday I'm going for my first CT scan since surgery. I have to do the barrium contrast drink- OH JOY! But I'm sure it won't be as nasty as the colonoscopy prep!
My Prayer for Tomorrow: That the CT scan shows significant improvement/shrinkage of my liver tumors and NO new growth in my body.
I also pray for relief of my mouth sores and tongue. It keeps me from eating enough food I so baadly need to keep my weight up.
I better take a "happy pill" tonight so I can combat the anxiety.
Will update when results are in, and I KNOW it's going to be positive, I just know it. Keep those prayers and positive vibes flowing!!!
XOXO
Peggy
My Prayer for Tomorrow: That the CT scan shows significant improvement/shrinkage of my liver tumors and NO new growth in my body.
I also pray for relief of my mouth sores and tongue. It keeps me from eating enough food I so baadly need to keep my weight up.
I better take a "happy pill" tonight so I can combat the anxiety.
Will update when results are in, and I KNOW it's going to be positive, I just know it. Keep those prayers and positive vibes flowing!!!
XOXO
Peggy
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Friday Night cook out with Art & Mindy Carlson and Dale and Pat Stephens. They were angels to accomodate my low partying threshhold and make the trip on a Friday evening from Mokena and Naperville. These couples are college friends of Lee's from Illinois State. They are salt of the earth, and I'm so glad they are part of my life!
Mindy reps several clothing lines and brought me a bunch of samples to wear. What a generous wonderful thing to do. Love you Mindy. And the jeans fit great!
Art wanted some shout-outs on the Blog, but damn if I remember a THING from last night's conversations.
Counting my abundant Blessings for the wonderful people in my life, in my corner, fighting right along with me. It really is energizing and healing to be around the people you love....so THANK YOU
XOXOX Peggy
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Bribery Pays
I had the marathon Chemo session yesterday- blood work, Dr. Visit then the Dripping of the Shrinky Juice. I fell asleep in the waiting room b/w the Dr Visist and Chemo. I was sooo tired.
I jokingly said to the Check-In nurse - Julie - "Hey, if you can score me a bed instead of a chair today, I can get some much needed sleep"
well, wouldn't you know, when I was called, I was sent to Room 5- complete with Bed, TV and heat control! I slept probably 3 hours! Those bakery treats did the trick!
I was still bone-ass tired when I got home and fell asleep early, which of course ruins the full-night of sleep. I was wide awake at 2 am, then gave up, went to the couch and read until the birds started chirping.
Looking forward to seeing dear friends tomorrow night. They're making the trip to me, cause I don't last too long in the evening -that way I can crawl to bed and they can stay and visit with Lee.
XOXO Peg
I jokingly said to the Check-In nurse - Julie - "Hey, if you can score me a bed instead of a chair today, I can get some much needed sleep"
well, wouldn't you know, when I was called, I was sent to Room 5- complete with Bed, TV and heat control! I slept probably 3 hours! Those bakery treats did the trick!
I was still bone-ass tired when I got home and fell asleep early, which of course ruins the full-night of sleep. I was wide awake at 2 am, then gave up, went to the couch and read until the birds started chirping.
Looking forward to seeing dear friends tomorrow night. They're making the trip to me, cause I don't last too long in the evening -that way I can crawl to bed and they can stay and visit with Lee.
XOXO Peg
Sunday, June 7, 2009
I know, I know - Haven't Posted in a while.....
I was crabby this past week. Between the abscess on my tooth and my continued troubles with Stumpy and the Magic Poo-Pouch, I wasn't in the mood to post.
Add to that, my worst reaction to the Erbatux Chemo (the single- dose treatment I get every other week). The rash is really, really bad this week and stings and itches like a Mo-Fo. cold cloths feel OK momentarily, but not lasting. I think the Aquafor moisturizer, which is like Vaseline, is keeping the heat in. I'm at a loss for an effective anti-itch moisturizing product.
My angel sister-Katie went to the nursery and brought me an Aloe Plant this morning. I applied it and it "feels good" and doesn't sting. The drawback is it dries kind of tight and sticky, which adds to my increasingly dry, tight skin.
I was feeling sorry for myself this week, angry, sad, and trying not to go down a bad road with my thoughts. I know it's OK to wallow a bit, Hell, I have every right to feel every negative thing about my damn Cancer. But this week, Peggy needs to rally - BIG Time. Some possible avenues to help:
Wellness House Women's Group- It's time to reach out and join a support group of my peers- women with Cancer. I hope I don't just sit and cry, I hope to gain strength from the amazing women I know will be part of the group.
Walking in the Hood: I need to combat my fatigue and get some strength- I did a half-hour walk today instead of my 1-loop around the block usual. I did think at one point I was going to be found splayed out on the sidewalk about 5 blocks away from home, but I made it! Note To Self: Next time bring your cell phone, just in case.
Prayer: Focused, thoughtful prayer, not only for my healing, but for my family and other special intentions.
Mani/Pedi: Always a mood-booster!
Today's Gratitudes:
My family. I hate breaking down in front of my Parents. I was emotional this week and it is so hard to know how much my parents are aching for me. But we're learning how to fall apart, have a good rant & cry and then dry the tears and move on.
My Lee-Lee: Taking over all the planting- The usual division of garden labor is Lee is all prep and muscle (the hard, exhausting part) and I plant the gardens and numerous containers and hanging baskets with all the annuals.
Lee's done a great job and OF COURSE, wanted to bring a new (read $) element to the garden by adding MANY more Sheppard's hooks to the summer color line was up high, not in ground.
It's looking good, and if summer ever comes to Chicago, it will be a glorious visual feast by July!
My Colleen: You've been such a help to me. Thanks for being the weekly grocery shopper!
My Michaela: Thank you for being honest with your feelings about what's going on in your life right now.
HAVE A GREAT WEEK
XOXO Peggy
Add to that, my worst reaction to the Erbatux Chemo (the single- dose treatment I get every other week). The rash is really, really bad this week and stings and itches like a Mo-Fo. cold cloths feel OK momentarily, but not lasting. I think the Aquafor moisturizer, which is like Vaseline, is keeping the heat in. I'm at a loss for an effective anti-itch moisturizing product.
My angel sister-Katie went to the nursery and brought me an Aloe Plant this morning. I applied it and it "feels good" and doesn't sting. The drawback is it dries kind of tight and sticky, which adds to my increasingly dry, tight skin.
I was feeling sorry for myself this week, angry, sad, and trying not to go down a bad road with my thoughts. I know it's OK to wallow a bit, Hell, I have every right to feel every negative thing about my damn Cancer. But this week, Peggy needs to rally - BIG Time. Some possible avenues to help:
Wellness House Women's Group- It's time to reach out and join a support group of my peers- women with Cancer. I hope I don't just sit and cry, I hope to gain strength from the amazing women I know will be part of the group.
Walking in the Hood: I need to combat my fatigue and get some strength- I did a half-hour walk today instead of my 1-loop around the block usual. I did think at one point I was going to be found splayed out on the sidewalk about 5 blocks away from home, but I made it! Note To Self: Next time bring your cell phone, just in case.
Prayer: Focused, thoughtful prayer, not only for my healing, but for my family and other special intentions.
Mani/Pedi: Always a mood-booster!
Today's Gratitudes:
My family. I hate breaking down in front of my Parents. I was emotional this week and it is so hard to know how much my parents are aching for me. But we're learning how to fall apart, have a good rant & cry and then dry the tears and move on.
My Lee-Lee: Taking over all the planting- The usual division of garden labor is Lee is all prep and muscle (the hard, exhausting part) and I plant the gardens and numerous containers and hanging baskets with all the annuals.
Lee's done a great job and OF COURSE, wanted to bring a new (read $) element to the garden by adding MANY more Sheppard's hooks to the summer color line was up high, not in ground.
It's looking good, and if summer ever comes to Chicago, it will be a glorious visual feast by July!
My Colleen: You've been such a help to me. Thanks for being the weekly grocery shopper!
My Michaela: Thank you for being honest with your feelings about what's going on in your life right now.
HAVE A GREAT WEEK
XOXO Peggy
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
From Zen to Dental Problems- @$!##
So typical of me - I went to the Wellness House to try out a Guided Imagery workshop. A facilitator basically talks you through each part of your body, helping you to connect, limb-by-limb, organ-by-organ - to help ypu focus on the mind-body connection, it's healing powers etc. All new stuff for me. Skill to learn and use in stressful times: CT scans, bloodwork reports, etc...
It's also very focused on breathing- we all hold our breath and don't even realize it. Well, for some reason, the focusing on the breathing thing was STRESSING me out! I felt like I had shallow breaths and that it was a struggle, similar to my struggles for the first month after surgery. Was it Anxiety? Who knows, but I was the twitchiest, un-zen like person in the room.
After class, I had to go to the Dentist - I felt a mass on my upper gums - was it a chemo side effect or something else? It's a freakin' frackin' ABCESS. So here I am, having to stretch my mouth open - folks, my SKIN is soooo dry and cracked, it's like when you get sunbruned badly and it hurts to stretch your limbs - like the skin's gonna break open and pop off.
I hate having to get dental work - 2008 was the YEAR of dental work for me: 2 crowns and a Root Canal from HELL. Got a MASSIVE infection that blew my face up like a Good Year Blimp, but the worst part was the shear pain that kept me up for nights. Now that I think of it, Chemo is a breeze compared to that event.
Mom's here to take me to Chemo. Gotta pack and get ready for the shrinky juice.
XOXOXO
It's also very focused on breathing- we all hold our breath and don't even realize it. Well, for some reason, the focusing on the breathing thing was STRESSING me out! I felt like I had shallow breaths and that it was a struggle, similar to my struggles for the first month after surgery. Was it Anxiety? Who knows, but I was the twitchiest, un-zen like person in the room.
After class, I had to go to the Dentist - I felt a mass on my upper gums - was it a chemo side effect or something else? It's a freakin' frackin' ABCESS. So here I am, having to stretch my mouth open - folks, my SKIN is soooo dry and cracked, it's like when you get sunbruned badly and it hurts to stretch your limbs - like the skin's gonna break open and pop off.
I hate having to get dental work - 2008 was the YEAR of dental work for me: 2 crowns and a Root Canal from HELL. Got a MASSIVE infection that blew my face up like a Good Year Blimp, but the worst part was the shear pain that kept me up for nights. Now that I think of it, Chemo is a breeze compared to that event.
Mom's here to take me to Chemo. Gotta pack and get ready for the shrinky juice.
XOXOXO
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