Yipppe Skippy, I'm finally out of the Hospital. I will give particular updates in another post, but this is my PSA to tell all readers to take care of your BUTT. If you dare to read on and aren't too offended by my candor, I hope my tale will inspire you to take care of all things leading to your Hineys!
OK, so I have this pain in the ass, constant, miserable, blah, blah, blah. The Dr. wants to perform a Barium Enema so they can get better pix on the nether region to see if I have any blockages or fistulas. I had no idea what to expect.
I have to lay down on a table that is an x-ray machine. I'm in a flimsy hospital gown, I'm skeleton skinny and every bone was digging into the table. Ah, comfortable!
So I ask the Devil Incarnate(enema giver) what to expect:
" Well, we insert this probe (think a straw with a thick eraser on top), 7 cm up the butt, then inflate a balloon in the rectum so the probe stays and we can get pictures. It will be "uncomfortable". I should have known I was doomed.
I was very anxious and started crying, I was just sick of everything. He started the insertion and from there, it was one long excruciating pain. I was already hyperventilating, which causes my fingers and toes to get numb and "lock up" unable to uncramp them. The Devil Incarnate than proceeds to inflate balloon. Another howling bout of pain. Then he started to get the barium liquid going....pain, pain and more pain..then -POP!, the probe and balloon fall out my ass.
After deep breathing and trying to get subdued - I said to the Devil - "Now what? Do I have to go thru this again?"
They got my nurse down from the floor and had her give me 2 doses of morphine. DIDN'T touch the pain one iota!
I get myself some what together and they do it all again. I had to bite down on a towel to keep my screams at bay. One of the attending techs sat next to me, held my hand and let me scratch and squeeze the living hell out of her! It was hideously painful. The worst I've experienced yet. ( I thought my prep for colonoscopy was the worst, this beat it 500%) The kind of pain you wish on mortal enemies and child abusers. I told them to take it out, I'm not going thru this again.
Well, luckily they got enough xrays to determine if I had blockages and leaks- All good.
I told every Dr and Resident that did rounds, they MUST go thru a colonoscopy prep and a barium enema as part of their training. And I was dead serious.
I'm almost certain that the pain I'm having is due to old poop in the colon trying to get out. After a regular enema the next day, I passed an oldie. Pain gone. I did another today, pain returned. Something's trying to hide,and then get out of my system.
So if you suffered thru my description of the Barium Enema, you are a brave soul. Hope it wasn't too gross.
Remember people: Eat fiber (fruits, veggies and whole grains), 30 mins of activity each day and pay attention to ANY changes in your gastro intestinal issues. I thought I had hemorrhoids, not freaking colon cancer! Take care of your BUTTS!!!!