Yipppe Skippy, I'm finally out of the Hospital. I will give particular updates in another post, but this is my PSA to tell all readers to take care of your BUTT. If you dare to read on and aren't too offended by my candor, I hope my tale will inspire you to take care of all things leading to your Hineys!
OK, so I have this pain in the ass, constant, miserable, blah, blah, blah. The Dr. wants to perform a Barium Enema so they can get better pix on the nether region to see if I have any blockages or fistulas. I had no idea what to expect.
I have to lay down on a table that is an x-ray machine. I'm in a flimsy hospital gown, I'm skeleton skinny and every bone was digging into the table. Ah, comfortable!
So I ask the Devil Incarnate(enema giver) what to expect:
" Well, we insert this probe (think a straw with a thick eraser on top), 7 cm up the butt, then inflate a balloon in the rectum so the probe stays and we can get pictures. It will be "uncomfortable". I should have known I was doomed.
I was very anxious and started crying, I was just sick of everything. He started the insertion and from there, it was one long excruciating pain. I was already hyperventilating, which causes my fingers and toes to get numb and "lock up" unable to uncramp them. The Devil Incarnate than proceeds to inflate balloon. Another howling bout of pain. Then he started to get the barium liquid going....pain, pain and more pain..then -POP!, the probe and balloon fall out my ass.
After deep breathing and trying to get subdued - I said to the Devil - "Now what? Do I have to go thru this again?"
They got my nurse down from the floor and had her give me 2 doses of morphine. DIDN'T touch the pain one iota!
I get myself some what together and they do it all again. I had to bite down on a towel to keep my screams at bay. One of the attending techs sat next to me, held my hand and let me scratch and squeeze the living hell out of her! It was hideously painful. The worst I've experienced yet. ( I thought my prep for colonoscopy was the worst, this beat it 500%) The kind of pain you wish on mortal enemies and child abusers. I told them to take it out, I'm not going thru this again.
Well, luckily they got enough xrays to determine if I had blockages and leaks- All good.
I told every Dr and Resident that did rounds, they MUST go thru a colonoscopy prep and a barium enema as part of their training. And I was dead serious.
I'm almost certain that the pain I'm having is due to old poop in the colon trying to get out. After a regular enema the next day, I passed an oldie. Pain gone. I did another today, pain returned. Something's trying to hide,and then get out of my system.
So if you suffered thru my description of the Barium Enema, you are a brave soul. Hope it wasn't too gross.
Remember people: Eat fiber (fruits, veggies and whole grains), 30 mins of activity each day and pay attention to ANY changes in your gastro intestinal issues. I thought I had hemorrhoids, not freaking colon cancer! Take care of your BUTTS!!!!
Peggy
Oh my lovely girl... what dread and horror you describe, it sounds more like a torture session by a serial killer than healthcare. I’m thankful for the tech that sat with you and tried her best to offer what little comfort she could. I hope at least at the end of this excruciating experience good comes in the form of an answer.
ReplyDeleteNow that you’re in the safety of your home and loved ones, have a good cry of relief and then wrap yourself tight in their arms. I hope you wake tomorrow with a renewal of spirit, know surely God loves you and your friends and family do too.
Have you heard of Morris Goodman? Maybe you will enjoy this story and find inspiration in hearing a story about someone who not only survived impossible odds but is living an amazing life. In my heart you are much like Morris in spirit, you see healing and health and you face each leg of your journey with such obvious courage and determination that you not only inspire but you make us so proud and blessed to know you.
Although there is a lot published about Morris, here is a short paragraph:
One of the leading life insurance salesmen in the world, a member of The Million Dollar Round Table and Top of the Table, Morris had success, fame, fortune, and a brand new airplane. And then things turned upside down. While attempting to land his airplane one afternoon Morris crashed. With his neck broken at C1 and C2, his spinal cord crushed, and every major muscle in his body destroyed Morris was no longer able to perform any bodily function except to blink his eyes. His injuries were too severe for him to survive. Morris was on a respirator when he blinked in code to the doctors that he would walk out of the hospital by Christmas. And the man the doctors dubbed "The Miracle Man" did just that! He survived with a strong faith in God, courage and determination, Morris not only rebuilt his body but also his mind and outlook on life.
After reading about your experience I had no words and hoped this short story might give you comfort and hope. Rest up, renew and keep believing, we’re all here with you.
Mary
Mary you are such a source of beauty, hope and healiing for me. THANKS
ReplyDeletePeggy
Wow ... can't imagine it. You are a brave gal.
ReplyDeleteVery entertaining post.
Take care.
Peggy, I can only imagine the pain you have been in these past few days. I cried right along with you your whole post. I think about you every day and I pray that every day gets a little better. Peggy - the Lord is certainly calling you to courage! If I were close by I would buy you a whole box of jelly donuts! sending you lots of love - Kirsten
ReplyDeleteI promise I will take care of my butt! I love you and am praying for you Peg.
ReplyDeleteLove,
April
Great Posting Peggy! I am sure the doctors/murses kept telling you "just relax; it's almost over..." and all you wanted to say was, "yeah, why don't you shove a Christmas Tree up you butt and see how it feels!"
ReplyDeleteYou are a Brave Warrior!
MoMo