Wednesday, May 20, 2009

My 2 hour infusion turned into a 5 hour day at Loyola. Appt. at 9:00 am, we ALWAYS wait an hour to actually start. Then the nurse notices that I went to my reg doctor yesterday regarding my swollen tonsil. Doc starts me on Amoxicillan just in case strep - waiting for the culture to come back - but it's not such a good idea to go on antibiotics while on Chemo - White Blood Cell issues and all. So, add another Hour to getting a blood test and results and Oncologist go-ahead to run the Chemo.

So, I started Cetux at 12 pm and got sprung at about 2:30, Mom took me to Whole Foods to get some goodies. I'm still struggling with weight gain- I went from a high about 3-4 weeks ago of 116 (I was living on carnation instant breakfast/whole milk) to 109 lbs. I did eat some of my Prairie Cafe Chicken Noodle soop and THREE mini croissants. I need to slam some other calories in tonight.

Don't be jealous of all the crap food and milkshakes I'm consuming - I relish the day my tastebuds return to normal and I can actually enjoy food, especially raw veggies etc.. (Yeah, right - big fat liar, LOL) I shudder to think what my cholesterol is, given all the carbs and fat I'm eating.

What do you think of me bringing my camera to chemo? this Blog is a great outlet for me to voice my thoughts in writing, but part of me (the scrapbooker who hasn't scrapped in a looong time) wants to get the visual images.

One photo I want: a photo of all of us chemo commrades in various stages of looking all Cancer-y, interspersed with a bunch of us sleeping- sitting upright of course, - in the waiting room. We waiters will catch a snooze any time, anywhere. I'll name it "Waiting Game" - we're all "waiting" for something on this journey, right? ....We wait for our name to be called so we can go back to "the chairs";(ooh, that's another photo to get - "The Chairs") we wait for test results, we wait for prayers to be answered, we wait for it all to frickin' go away and never come back.

At chemo today, there was a woman I've noticed since I've been going, Eastern European looking, wearing a scarf/bubushka. I thought she was a patient. She was with her son and husband, turns out, the husband is the patient. Any hoo, she was one of the waiting room people I talked about in an older post, that would really "stare at me" or look at me. Today in the waiting room, I noticed and was touched by how the son, probably my age or so, sitting and holding his father's hand, so easily and sweetly.

Her husband was in the chemo chair next to me today, and when I got up to take care of some "bidness", the woman looked at me at told me how much better I am looking - that she's noticed me all these weeks (see my older posts on how pathetic and nasty I was the first 4-5 weeks!) and she was so glad to see me better.

So THAT's why she was staring, and probably the rest of the Loyola world. I was one scary hot mess at the beginning of this cancer crap. Rachel, my nurse today, even admitted that 6 weeks ago, she was very nervous about my condition and how I'd handle it.

I HAVE come along way since March 23rd, surgery day. Remember when one of my prayers was "please let me string together more than 2 good days, THEN I can handle this" Talk about ANSWERED PRAYER, so incredibly wonderfully mysterioulsy AWESOME.

Again, Woo-Hoo and THANKS to all my praying, loving, wonderful squad. I am one greatful bony-assed, zit-faced chemo girl.


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