Just a Pity party post:
Dear Stoma: I'm starting to resent your existence. I know my plumbing had to be re-wired, and I'm thankful my colon tumor is gone. But, right now, you are itching and gurgling and I need to wait a few hours for you to slow down so I can change this poo bag. I am also hoping I'm not getting some infection around Ole' Stumpy. So $@%$ You and the Horse You Rode In on.
thanks for letting me vent
p.s. translations for Peggy-isms: Poo-Bag - Ileostomy Pouch; Stumpy= Stoma